The art of living with mental illness

     When I first decided to start blogging again I couldn't decide what I wanted to blog about. Obviously I wanted to blog about art but I didn't think that would be enough to write about multiple times a week. Progress photos of paintings or drawings are nice but I didn't want a blog filled with photos you could easily see on my instagram. I started looking at what was popular in the blogging world. Fashion, if you know me you're probably laughing. I've never been one to put too much stock in the way I dress. Not that I look like a slob but everything in my closet is black, it all matches and I don't have to put much thought into how I dress. DIY, ok so I'm pretty crafty but I'm not consistently crafty enough to have a blog about it. Food, I love food, I love to cook. I honestly thought for awhile about seriously having it be a part of my blog and I can't say that there won't be a recipe popping up here and there. Again, I'm not consistent enough and I forget to take photos before we eat.

     Do you know what I am consistent with? Art and talking about mental health. I know to some people that may sound strange, as if the two don't go together. In my world they go hand in hand. Being an artist and having mental health issues are huge parts of who I am. Yes, I'm married and I'm a mother and I love my family more than anything but as Jae Nichelle said, she (my anxiety) is the longest relationship I have ever had.

     My mental health issues are with me always. I never get a break. They are integrated in relationships and memories, my career and decisions about the future. Navigating through life is just different when your brain doesn't work the way others do. Some days I don't even notice I'm taking the more difficult route when going through my routine. All I know is that is what my brain tells me to do. Some days it's hard and I wonder how I'll get through the day, let alone the rest of my life.

     I think it's important to talk about these issues. I've always been open about my mental health. There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't be. I didn't ask for this, I didn't sign up to be in this club. This was an unwanted gift that I'm trying to figure out what to do with. I can't return it and I can't give it away. I'm stuck with it. So why should I have to keep quite about it? Especially when I'm not the only one that was handed this. We're all walking around wondering if we're alone and we're not. I want to be the place that someone comes and says "me too, I feel that way too". Sometimes feeling like your even slightly normal is what you need to get through the day.

     I guess what I'm trying to say is that this blog will be about my real life. It will be about my mental state and how that relates to my work. It will be about the things I feel passionate about and things I love. The things that make me nervous and sad and what life actually looks like for someone with mental health issues.